It has been quite a while since I’ve been on here. For those of you still actively using Tumblr that follow me, hello again! I’m pretty sure I haven’t been on Tumblr since junior year of college.
Last night I decided to take a trip down memory lane and go through all my original posts. Tumblr was a great creative outlet for me. It helped me really
reflect on my interests, especially while pursuing my video production education. It was also a place where I could write anything I wanted. It’s been very interesting to see where I’ve come since then. I’ve made some very personal/emotional posts on here. Going back and reading some of my past ramblings gave me some time for reflection and an opportunity to view it again from another perspective. Some posts were related to different personal issues, depression, or otherwise healthily expressing negativity in order to move on from it. Other posts, I was feeling sorry for myself, talking negatively about others, or were a desperate attempt to get attention. Some I read made me feel slightly embarrassed, others made me remember some of the emotional/mental struggles I faced and how much I’ve grown since. I used to be very depressed, had no confidence in myself (especially with dating), and was overall just an socially awkward kid with low self esteem. While I still have plenty of room to grow, I certainly have come a long way since then.
The best part of reading back on everything, though, was all of you. Some of you I’ve never even met in person that showed support and enthusiasm for me simply based off the things I posted on here. Some of you helped me through some very difficult mental/emotional issues in my past. I had struggled very hard with depression in the past and many of you were there to simply ask if I was okay. That all meant more than you can imagine. I don’t know if I was truly appreciative back then, but I couldn’t be more thankful. If we talked in the past and you’re still active on here, please message me again! I would love to talk. Thanks to all of you who cared.
It’s been a year since I’ve graduated from Ball State. I’ve noticed that the past year had many similarities to the year that I posted the most on here. I moved back home with my family and didn’t immediately get a job. I started Ubering and attending comedy shows to get myself out of the house. I had struggled very hard with not having a schedule, organizations to be a part of, or any friends down the street. I was jobless dealing with the pressure from my family and myself. I had felt like a failure and knew I needed to do something about it. I really enjoyed going to comedy shows and always had a desire to perform, so I decided to start taking improv classes and going on stage at open mic nights. I had taken time to really think about what direction I want to take my life (working in comedy and producing documentaries). Fast forward through some tough times while living at home: I’m now living in the city, bartending, working for a comedy club, got chosen to be on an improv team, doing standup, building myself as a freelancer, and producing comedy videos again. I plan on making a move to one of the coasts at some point, but I know I still have plenty of growing and planning to do before I make that move. I now have my own space and time for creativity and look forward to learning more. I still occasionally struggle with some emotional issues on my life, but again have come so far from where I was before. I have done a lot of personal learning over the past few years, and a lot of you have been very helpful. Not really knowing why, I’ve always felt very isolated throughout my life. You all have helped me feel comfortable and accepting of myself. Thank you.
I originally logged on to delete this account. I didn’t think I would use this again but I’m glad I read through everything again. I don’t think I’ll be nearly as active as I was before, but I’ll do my best to check this daily and maybe write something once a day. I enjoy writing and want to make more of a habit out of it. It’s also nice to get some creative juices flowing. Hello again, friends.